Finding Home
by Brinvixen
Summary: Two men. One Kagome. Does she finally find home? My first OneShot. Lemon warning: if you don't like that stuff, don't read.


**_For those who have read this story and got an alert about an update:: its really nothing big. just an edit i made. I had had Inuyasha saying he was thirty-two, when's hes actually thirty. For those who HAVEN'T read this story and have no idea what im talking about:: read on and you'll see. (to the newcomers, and the reader-overs) Hope you enjoy!_**

**_Brin._**

* * *

**Dear Readers: It's been a while since I've written a fanfic (for those who have read my work before). This one kind of just came to me, which is why its a OneShot (and my first OneShot at that). Now I am not at all trying to excuse myself if this isn't some of my best writing, but its my first time trying to compile a big idea into one chapter, and also, its been a while since I've written.**

**That said: I really do like how this story turned out, and I do think it's a pretty good read. Mind you, there's a lemon (hence the M rating. if you dont like lemons, turn away now!!), but all the same, I think it is more or less pretty good. And the best thing about it is...if it sux, its only one chapter, so you as a reader wont have to go thru any more torture!! good bet huh ;)**

**Diclaimer: I don't Inuyasha, or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Finding Home**

Kagome Higurashi looked incredibly ravishing. Her slender frame was clothed in a dress painted scarlet. It clung to her shapely body and emphasizing her curves, and it fell loosely to her knees. The top of the dress had a haltered design, and it was completely backless. Her midnight tresses cascaded down passed her shoulders in loose waves and her bangs were swept to the side. Her face was free of heavy makeup, allowing her natural beauty to shine through. Only a light red stain colored her lips, and dark liner around mascara for her eyes and eyelashes.

Every single gentleman in the grand ballroom approached her and her fiancé, Hojo Miten, to tell him how fortunate he was to have the most beautiful girl in the room on his arm. Both of them smiled at the compliment. Hojo looked every bit as sharp as Kagome did. His was wearing a black suit, with a white shirt and black tie. A red rose served the task of boutonniere on his left breast. His short brown hair was combed to perfection, not a strand out of place, and his deep blue eyes shone with pride. Kagome moved closer to him, wrapping both her arms around one of his.

"You look so handsome tonight honey," she whispered to him.

"Well I had to make sure I looked my best, considering just how beautiful you look tonight." Hojo explained. "It would be an offense to you to look anything but sharp, and then serve the role as your fiancé was well."

Kagome chuckled. "Don't be silly."

"I'm actually being completely serious." He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear. "You look fabulous sweetheart. Completely heart-stopping. I really am fortunate to have you."

Kagome blushed lightly. "You spoil me."

"I only speak the truth." Hojo said with an easy smile as he straightened up.

"Well I had to make sure I looked my best tonight." Kagome said. "I mean, this night is about you. And what kind of fiancée would **I **be if I came looking anything less than fabulous?"

Hojo's smile widened, which mirrored a smile onto Kagome's face as well. This dinner party was a celebration in Hojo's name – he had finally made senior partner at his firm. They were even going to change the name of the firm, adding his last name to the list. It would now be called Takashi, Huron and Miten. Kagome couldn't be more proud of him, or more proud to soon have his last name.

"Hojo," the call came from one of the other two partners, Miroku Huron. He came towards them with a young woman on his arm.

"Mr. Huron, nice to see you tonight." Hojo said politely.

Miroku Huron looked just as sharp as Hojo did, his suit being a soft gray with a white shirt and pink tie and boutonniere. He laughed kindly at Hojo's greeting. "Please Hojo, we're partners now. No more need for the formalities."

Hojo grinned. "Right, Miroku."

Miroku smiled at that, then said: "I'm not sure if you've met my wife," gesturing to the woman next to him. "This is Sango."

His wife was dress in a pink dress similar to the color of his tie: a strapless dress that hugged her upper half and got loose after the waist. Her brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, curls flowing down behind her. She smiled warmly, "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Miten."

"The feeling is mutual," Hojo replied. He reached for Kagome's hand and squeezed it tightly. "And I'd like to introduce both of you to the love of my life, my fiancée, Kagome Higurashi."

Miroku reached out to shake her free hand first. "Kagome Higurashi is it? You must be the beautiful young woman everyone in the room is talking about."

Kagome blushed again. "I'm sure it's not that big of a deal."

"Humble too. This is a good one Hojo."

Hojo squeezed her hand again. "I know."

"Your dress looks amazing on you Kagome." Sango complimented. "Where did you get it?"

Kagome felt a clenching feeling in her chest, but she kept her smile up. "A friend of mine bought it for me, as a gift."

"Great friend." Sango said with a wink.

Again Kagome felt that painful squeeze, but she made sure not to let it show.

"Have you seen Inuyasha yet?" Miroku asked. "He was looking for you."

"Not yet." Hojo replied. "Where was he last?"

Miroku nodded in the direction of the snack table. Hojo and Kagome gave the Hurons polite goodbyes before Hojo guided them over towards the table.

Kagome had met Inuyasha before this occasion. The first time they had gotten acquainted was at one of the firm's picnics. Hojo had only been working there for a month or so, and she and Hojo had been going out for three. She couldn't forget how handsome he had looked at the picnic, and could hardly believe that this was the same man Hojo came home grumbling about at nights. Inuyasha was dressed casually in a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He was tall, with broad shoulders and a slender frame. But the way the shirt clung to his body and the muscles in his arms, revealed the definition in his body. And of course, there was that point when he had removed his shirt, and removed all speculation of whether or not he was in shape. His chiseled chest and sculpted abdomen put all the questions in Kagome's mind to rest. His hair was long and silver in color, with naturally messy bangs framing the front of his head. He was a hanyou, which explained the pointed ears resting atop his head, and probably also explained the silver colored hair and his eyes. It was those eyes that Kagome had first seen though. Not the body, not the hair, but those eyes. His irises were colored a shimmering gold color, which shone with incredible intensity in the sunlight, and glowed warmly when the lights went down.

That had been two years ago. Two long years ago. Now Hojo was being made partner. Now Hojo was her fiancé.

She could see Inuyasha at the end of the table, standing with his current girlfriend, Kikyo Hitomi. She was wearing a black spaghetti strapped dress that held her slim figure tightly and stopped mid thigh. Kagome remembered her at the picnic too, and was mildly surprised that she had made it to this party. Last time she had heard something about Inuyasha's love life, he was going out with Ayame Black. Then again, he and Kikyo were always on and off.

Kagome's eyes went to Inuyasha after a quick sweep over Kikyo. Inuyasha looked like the millions he was probably worth. He was wearing a white suit – the only gentlemen in the room wearing such – with a red shirt underneath and a white tie. His silver hair was pulled back, and his eyes glimmered in the ballroom light. Those eyes found Kagome's just a second before they found Hojo's. She held his gaze only for a second, before she titled her head towards Hojo's averting her eyes.

"You okay sweetheart?" Hojo whispered.

"Fine." She murmured.

"Good evening Mr. Miten, and the future Mrs. Miten." Inuyasha said in a clear voice once they had gotten close enough.

"Evening Mr. Takashi." Hojo said, stretching out his hand to shake Inuyasha's. "Evening Kikyo."

Kagome kept her hands to herself, but greeted both of them politely. Inuyasha's eyes went back to Kagome, then went over her body. A smile came slowly to his face. "I'm sure you've heard it already Ms. Higurashi, but you look absolutely stunning tonight. Surely the most beautiful woman in the room."

Inuyasha's lowered his voice as he made the comment and Kagome blushed against her will. "Thank you."

Inuyasha smile remained for a moment longer, before he turned to Hojo. "Do you mind if I steal this beautiful thing from you for just one dance, Mr. Miten?"

"Um, sure." Hojo said uncertainly.

"But we haven't even had our first dance." Kagome said to her fiancé.

"Come now Kagome, I'll have you back in a minute." Inuyasha said reassuringly.

Hojo looked like he wanted to say no, but didn't have the heart to say so. Kagome felt her own rebuttal coming on, but had no time to say it, as Inuyasha had already taken her hand and was pulling her to the dance floor. The band had been playing music all night, but it seemed that conveniently as she and Inuyasha took center-stage, the music slowed drastically. He pulled her closer accordingly, one hand on her bare back, and the other laced with hers. She couldn't ignore the warmth that spread through her body where his palm had made contact with her skin, but she sure did try to. She placed her free hand on his shoulder and waited for him to lead. But Inuyasha didn't move.

"You aren't going to look at me Kagome?"

His voice was soft, but carried authority. She felt compelled to look up. Those golden eyes were lowered and waiting for her, and a smile played on his lips. "Now that wasn't so hard."

"I suppose not." She said quietly.

"You look heavenly."

"Thank you."

Inuyasha began to lead them around the area with long, graceful strides. Kagome couldn't help but be surprised at his skill, and how he moved with such fluidity. But even as she thought about it, she realized she should have expected it. Inuyasha Takashi was good at everything he did.

"I miss you." He whispered suddenly.

Kagome's eyes dropped. "Please don't start."

"Surely you expected me to say something."

"I did, which is why my plan had been to avoid you all night."

"Not very successful huh."

"Not at all."

He turned her twice, before pulling her close to him, their bodies pressed together. Kagome couldn't look away now, and couldn't miss the intensity in Inuyasha's eyes. "I really do miss you." He said again.

"Please don't start." She repeated, trying to wriggle herself free of his strong grasp.

He loosened his grip on her, but did not let her return to Hojo, still guiding her around the room. Kagome gave up resisting, but kept her gaze down all the same.

"It hurts that you won't look at me Kagome. Did you know that?"

"I doubt that highly."

He sighed through his nose. "Why are you making this so difficult?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"That's the _problem_."

Kagome glared at him. "You're disgusting."

He only smiled at her. Mercifully the song ended, and Kagome stopped moving abruptly. She was just about to walk back over to her fiancé when Inuyasha caught her wrist, and pulled her towards him. "One more dance perhaps?" he asked innocently

"No thank you." She said firmly.

"Then maybe something else." And instantly all the innocence in his voice dropped. "Come with me tonight."

"No."

"Come Kagome. You know you want to."

"No I don't. I–"

"Maybe you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me." He looked at her intensely. "I can see it in you. You want to come, so come."

Kagome hesitated, an advantage that Inuyasha pounced on. He pulled her even closer, to whisper in her ear. His voice was low, and the warmth of his breath on her ear made her shiver. "It's okay Kagome. No one will suspect a thing. No one ever does."

But that was the problem. Because everyone expected everything. She was sure of it. "Inuyasha–"

"Think about it Kagome. Don't say no yet. Just think." He said finally, before pulling back from her. And then as if the conversation never happened, he was leading her back towards where Hojo and Kikyo stood waiting.

Hojo looked severely uncomfortable, but said nothing. Kikyo, on the other hand, looked like she was about to burst. Immediately Inuyasha took her hand and lead her towards the dance floor, pulling her close, but certainly not as close and he had held Kagome.

"Do you want to dance?" Hojo asked her.

Kagome looked at him, and knew that she wanted to say yes, but didn't have the heart to. "Actually, I think I'm going to sit down."

Hojo couldn't hide his disappointment well enough. "Oh okay."

She smiled as reassuringly as she could. "Give me five minutes okay?" she said, kissing his cheek after.

Hojo nodded. "Alright."

Kagome crossed the room over to where the various tables were set up, the eyes of every male in the room following her as she walked. Dinner wasn't going to be served for another half hour, which meant she had to make a decision in thirty minutes. She raked her fingers through her hair, before resting her cheek in her palm. She knew what the obvious decision should be, but it was the alternative that made it hard to choose that obvious one. She knew what she _should_ do, but it never seemed to coincide with what she _wanted_ to do.

She hadn't been sitting down for more than ten minutes when she saw that Kikyo and Inuyasha had broken apart and that he was heading towards her, wanting an answer more than likely. Kagome straightened up slightly, not wanting him to influence her in any way possible, to show him that she wouldn't let him influence him. But the closer he got, the harder it was to ignore the feelings trying to overpower her.

He didn't come down to her level: remained standing. "So?"

Kagome looked up at him helplessly. The words she had practiced over and over in her head were not coming out. His gaze didn't falter, and she felt herself losing to those amber eyes. And when he smiled, her loss became evident. "I'll tell Mr. Miten," was all he said before turning away from her.

* * *

Kagome walked out of the ballroom as soon as Inuyasha had stepped away from her. She definitely didn't want to stick around while Inuyasha came up with something clever. Once she had stepped into the night air, she wondered if maybe she should turn around and say something. But even as the thought came to her, it left: it wouldn't have worked anyway. If saying something could avoid this whole situation, she should have said no when Inuyasha approached her.

And she didn't.

God, what was she doing?

Inuyasha came out of the ballroom shortly after her. He didn't look smug, and he certainly didn't act as if he had overpowered her into doing something she didn't want to do. She knew the reason why too – because they both knew that this was something she _did _want. Wrong as it was, she wanted to be here.

"What did Hojo say?" she asked timidly.

"He said feel better." Inuyasha replied. "Apparently you have a little stomachache, and you need to lie down. I'm taking you home."

Kagome nodded, and then walked behind Inuyasha towards his car. He opened the door for her, and then went around to the driver's side. As he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, Kagome tried to steady her rapidly beating heart. She was nervous, guilty, excited, anxious. She wanted Inuyasha to turn back; she wanted him to keep going forward. She wanted to say something, she wanted to say nothing.

She settled for just watching Inuyasha as he drove. Everything he did seemed so impossibly graceful: the way he changed gears as he drove, the way he held the steering wheel as he turned corners, the way he inhaled and exhaled through his nose.

She knew they weren't going to her house, but to his, and her already speeding heart rate increased further as they pulled into his driveway. The house was grand, and familiar. She felt a strange kind of comfort as Inuyasha shut off the car, almost as if she was coming home.

"You okay?" Inuyasha asked her kindly.

She looked at him, seeing that the concern in his eyes was genuine. She managed to smile, a real one. "Yeah. I am."

They got out of the car at the same time, and she walked behind him to the front door. Once he had it open, he stepped aside to let her in first. Even in the dark, she knew where everything was, where she was going. She walked forward as Inuyasha locked the door behind them. She walked to where the staircase was, and stood at the base of it.

She heard Inuyasha come up behind her, his hands resting gently on her waist. "Are we going up?" he asked.

He always asked that, as if he expected her at this point to change her mind. But once she got her, her mind was pretty much set on what she wanted. And what she wanted was to go up. "Yes. We are."

Kagome took his hand, laced it with her own, and led the way. Her heart was pounding in her ears with every step, but she ignored, walked forward with confidence. She didn't go to where the master bedroom was, but to where the guest bedroom was located. As she reached for the doorknob, she realized her hand was trembling.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha voice was a hoarse whisper in her ear.

"I'm fine." She said more for herself than for him.

She opened the door and stepped inside, pulling him in with her. He closed the door behind him. When she heard the click, she dropped his hand, and took two steps away from him, her back still to him. Her breathing was becoming unsteady, and a fire was burning in the lower regions of her stomach. She turned around to face Inuyasha, taking a calming breath as she did. He came towards her slowly, reaching her hands when he was close enough. Holding them gently in his, he brought them up to his lips, placing soft kisses all over her left hand, before switching to the right. Kagome smiled in spite of herself, and Inuyasha caught it, starting to smile as well.

"There goes that smile I was waiting for." He whispered.

"Well you know exactly how to get it." She teased.

He released her hands before bringing one of his up to cup the side of her of face. She leaned into his touch, her eyes closing as she did. In the next instant, she felt his lips on hers, and he was kissing her. It was a tender, soft kiss – one that revealed the hidden desire swimming within both of them. She moved closer to him, not breaking the kiss, but wanting to feel his body pressed against hers. Her hands roamed his frame. Every part of him was made up of muscle, not a soft spot anywhere. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him even closer, as their kiss delved into the more passionate. She could feel his tongue exploring her mouth, and imagined it exploring elsewhere.

He pulled away from her, and said gruffly: "Let's get rid of this."

His hand went to the tie sitting at the top of the dress that kept it on her. With one pull, the whole dress pooled at her feet. Now she stood in nothing but a pair of dark red boy-shorts. Inuyasha grinned: "Love my women in red."

He picked her up effortless and laid her on the bed. Before joining her, Kagome watched as he hastily removed his clothing as well, until he was wearing only his boxers. Then he climbed on with her, positioning himself over her. Kagome opened her legs and he let himself rest between them, their lips meeting again. She could feel him growing with every passing millisecond. When his kiss travelled downwards, to her neck, and then further to her breasts, her body relaxed and her eyes closed. She could feel the warmth of his mouth enclosed her right nipple, and a soft moan left her throat as he massaged it with his tongue. She bit her bottom lip as his sucking became more insistent, as his hands caressed the breast he wasn't currently attending to. All the while his member throbbed against her inner thigh.

"Inuyasha." Her voice was thick with lust.

"Yes?" his voice mirrored her own.

"Take my panties off."

He growled positively in response before sitting up, his hands already on the waistband of her boy-shorts. He pulled them down slowly, slipping them off her body with ease. He watched as he came down on her again, but not to bring his lips to hers. Instead, his lips found their way between her legs. Kagome gasped in surprise when she felt his tongue, then she released a long moan as it began to dance on her flesh. Her back arched, and her breathing became short. Wave after wave of pure ecstasy shook her body, bringing her to a point where she could barely think anymore. Nothing, except for Inuyasha, who was holding her waist tightly, keeping her steady while pulling her closer to his mouth. She could feel his nose nuzzling against her clit as he delved deeper insider her body with his tongue. Kagome touched herself, unable to do anything else: her hand found her breasts, and she held them as orgasms shook through her. Her other hand grasped his hair, digging him even further down.

Just when she thought she was going to explode, Inuyasha stopped. His head rose so rapidly that it took her by surprise. She kissed him fiercely, pulling him down on her, needing him more than anything else at this point.

"Tell me you want it." Inuyasha said gruffly against her lips.

Kagome didn't know when he had removed his boxers, but now she could feel the warmth of his rod pressed against her, hard and strong, poised to enter her. "I want it." She said breathlessly.

Inuyasha smirked. "Do you want it now?"

She whined impatiently at his teasing. "I want it nah…ahh…"

Kagome's words died in her throat and became reborn as an erotic call, as Inuyasha slowly entered her body. He seemed to be filling every part of her, and she felt she couldn't breathe. But it was a delicious suffocation. Her eyelids fluttered downwards as Inuyasha pulled out and reentered her again and again, slowly: coming out completely before pushing in as far as he could. Kagome wriggled beneath him, unable to keep still as sexual vibrations reverberated over her body. She moved into his slow thrusts, wanting to get the most out of them; wanting to get more.

When Inuyasha lifted his upper body, still inside her, Kagome instinctively grabbed hold of the sheets. Inuyasha grabbed hold of her waist yet again, and began quick and continuous pumps into her body. Kagome's head went back and her hold on the sheets tightened as Inuyasha thrust into her. Similarly, Inuyasha found himself becoming caught up in the moisture and warmth found inside of Kagome's body, and groans and growls of pleasure escaped him. He began thrusting faster into her: more forcefully, recklessly. The mattress started to knock into the headboard, the banging only second in volume to Kagome's increasing cries in pleasure. She sang an erotic song with Inuyasha's name in the chorus. It only further pushed him to please her – to please them. He held her even tighter, losing himself in the passion and desire he held for her, pushing himself towards his climax. Kagome praised him, surrendered to him, gave into the orgasms and ecstasy quickly consuming her….

…And when it was over, when Inuyasha lay next to Kagome, both covered in a thin sheet of sweat, both exhausted and satisfied, Kagome kept her back towards Inuyasha, reflecting on what she had done, and why she had done it.

This scene was too familiar. This _situation_ was too familiar. It started that day at the firm's picnic, when she and Inuyasha had first met. He was charming, charismatic, and undeniably gorgeous. And she and Hojo were still just getting to know each other. Kagome couldn't help but be drawn to him – this older man who was already a prestigious lawyer, had his own firm, and still managed to keep himself grounded. She was only twenty then: young and foolish, not even able to drink yet. Inuyasha was eight years her senior, six above Hojo, and carried himself with such an unmatchable confidence and magnetic swagger. And he liked Kagome: he liked her enough to walk through the woods with her while Hojo was caught up with a game of Ultimate Frisbee. And he wanted enough to seduce her right out of her clothes and on her back right there amongst the trees.

That's where it all started, two years ago, and no end seemed to be in sight. Despite the immense guilt Kagome felt every time she answered Inuyasha's sexual call, she continued to answer it. Even though she had managed to refuse him on occasions since Hojo's proposal five months ago, it was only on occasions. She couldn't shake her unfaithfulness. She couldn't shake that hold Inuyasha had on her. Maybe it was because he was her first – something she hadn't told anyone, something none of her friends knew. Not even Inuyasha knew the fact. Maybe it was because when they were together, whenever he was around her, he treated her like she was a queen – offered to drive her home, always gave her the first dance, spoke to her as an equal, respected her opinion, held her after a steamy session. Whatever it was, trying to let go was like trying to tear the moth away from the smoldering flame: impossible.

"Kagome?"

Kagome jumped at the sound of Inuyasha's voice. "Yes?" she answered sheepishly.

"Will you stay the night? Just this once?"

Kagome sighed. She never stayed the night. Lying in her adulterous bed was too much for her. She had to return to Hojo, as if almost to make sure he was still there waiting for her, despite her heinous behavior.

"I can't. You know I can't."

She heard Inuyasha roll over, but she did not turn to face him. "Why do you stay Kagome? Why? Don't you know how I feel about you? Don't you know how you feel about me?"

She didn't know anything. She couldn't explain the feeling that she got with Inuyasha, expect that the pull to him was impossible to ignore. But Kagome couldn't deny her feelings for Hojo as well: he made her feel safe and secure. Inuyasha was for her reckless abandoned side.

"Kagome. Do you know how old I am?"

The question caught Kagome off guard, and she turned to face him just as he gave her the answer: "I'm thirty years old now. I know I may not look it, but I am. I run a law firm with two great partners. I'm one of the wealthiest men in the city. I am the youngest man in the city to be worth over five million dollars. I live in a beautiful home. I have great friends."

He stopped, and Kagome looked at him curiously, trying to place where he was going with all of this. He sighed: "But I'm lonely Kagome. I don't have a wife, or even a girlfriend who I could see myself with in the future. All I have is you, and I don't even have that. I have glimpses of you, moments with you. Stolen moments, that end all too quickly."

"Inuyasha–"

"And I understand that you love Hojo. The last thing I want to do is wreck a happy home but…" he paused, looked at her intensely. "But Kagome, how happy can it be if you keep coming back to me? How satisfied with Hojo can you be if you continuously come and find me? And I let you come and find me, because I need you."

"Now that's unfair Inuyasha." Kagome said in rebuttal. "_You_ came onto _me_ tonight."

"Only because you wore the dress. I would have left you alone if you hadn't worn the dress."

Kagome stopped: caught. Inuyasha had sent the dress to her and Hojo's apartment a week before tonight, with a note attached: _Wanted you to look beautiful, and thought this would do the trick. Only wear it, if it pleases you. _Kagome put it on for him, because she wanted him to see her in it, because she wanted him to want her.

"You made me think that…" Inuyasha stopped again, changed directions. "The point is Kagome, that this affair we have hurts me as much as it hurts you. I want to let you live your life, but I can't live without you. And if you would just refuse me, and make me see that you don't want to be with me, I would have to learn to live without you. But nights like these, they give me hope Kagome. Is there hope? Or am I just a deranged thirty-year-old, reaching and wishing for something that is never going to come?"

Kagome turned away from Inuyasha. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Kagome, you're still a child. And I know that. You haven't lived as long as I have. You haven't broken any hearts yet, and you haven't had your heart broken. You've gotten yourself caught up in an adult situation with your childlike mentality. And I wish I could be the grown up for you, and tell you that we should end this while we still can. But I can't Kagome. I love you too much. I love you Kagome. For this to end, you need to tell me that you want it to end. Because I don't."

Kagome said nothing, not sure how to reply. Inuyasha waited for her response, one that would never come. Because after what felt like an eternity of silence passed, Kagome slipped out of bed and went to where her clothing lay on the floor.

Inuyasha watched her get dressed, and made no move to stop her from leaving. He never did. Kagome grabbed her heels, and went towards the door. She took a final look at Inuyasha, but he looked away as she did. Pain was etched into his face, and it made Kagome want to climb back into bed and stroke his head, and tell him she wasn't leaving.

But she was, so she quietly opened the door and closed it just as quietly behind her when she walked out of the room.

* * *

When Kagome arrived at her apartment, she went for her bedrom and climbed into her bed, not bothering to change her clothes. She knew that Inuyasha's scent was all over her, and that Hojo would smell it. Maybe he would smell her tears too, as she felt them beginning to fall down her cheeks.

"Kagome?"

Hojo's soft and sleepy voice greeted her in the darkness. Kagome tried to keep the sound of her silent sobbing out of her own voice. "Yes Hojo?"

"What happened? Are you okay? I stayed up waiting for you."

Kagome ignored the guilt trying to stab at her chest. "I got sick in the car." She lied with hesitation. "Inuyasha's house was nearby, so he took me there. I suppose I fell asleep."

There was a long silence. Kagome wondered what Hojo was thinking, wondered if he could see through her lie. Suddenly, he lifted his body and turned to face her, his blue eyes piercing. "You should have stayed there."

His voice was flat but clear, no longer soft or sleepy. And it was then Kagome knew. Hojo knew what she was really up to. Perhaps he had known all along, and chose to ignore it. Or perhaps her lies and cover-ups were not as swift as they were in the beginning. Perhaps he could see the hickies on her neck in the darkness, smell the scent of her and Inuyasha's act seeping out of her pores. Whatever the reason, Kagome could see it in his eyes now. He knew.

Kagome could see he was hurting, but that he wouldn't show it. It was almost as if he was accepting this situation, as if he knew he was on the losing team anyway. And wasn't that what Inuyasha was saying anyway? Why would she continuously return to him if she didn't feel happy at home? And yet, she was incredibly happy with Hojo – the time she spent with him was always joyous. He made her feel comfortable, he always said the right thing, and he knew exactly what to say to make her smile. But Kagome had to think: was it the happiness that Inuyasha was talking about? Was she really genuinely happy?

Somehow there was a flaw in her relationship with Hojo. What else could be the reason that she would give herself to Inuyasha first – a complete stranger at the time – than to Hojo, a friend of hers that developed into her boyfriend?

Kagome tried to collect her thoughts on Inuyasha: contemplated what that pull he had on her could be. And as soon as she began to focus her mind, the solutions came so easily, she couldn't believe she didn't see them before.

Inuyasha gave her a different sense of security: he made her feel that she could take on the world, and he would be right there behind her. Hojo was comfortable, something she had known forever. Inuyasha was something new, something she had never known before. So she wondered, was it really that she clung to Hojo out of fear of the new and unexplored? Did the reason she was so afraid of truly committing herself to Inuyasha was because she was afraid of the feelings he gave her? Because she rathered comfort than...possibly...love?

Somehow, deep inside her, she felt she knew the answers to these questions; that the solutions her subconscience was coming up with were accurate. And yet, Kagome continued to look into Hojo's deep blue eyes, still looking for conformation. It was then she realized her heart wasn't beating rapidly, not at all like when Inuyasha looked at her. When he looked at her, she felt as if she was going to explode. But with Hojo, she felt normal. She had never felt a jolt or a rush with Hojo, just safe. But with Inuyasha, it was different...

Inuyasha, who said that he loved her. That he was thirty years old, and was searching for that woman – the one he could spend the rest with. And he said that woman was her. That he no longer wanted to keep her as a mistress, but as, maybe, a wife. Inuyasha, who always broke up with Kikyo whenever Kagome frequently visited him, who took her out to dinner and to movies, who took her home when she didn't want to be with him, who never argued when she gave that final no.

Inuyasha: who made her face warm and her heart flutter.

And then it made sense. Everything seemed to be falling into place as she stared into Hojo's eyes. "You're right." She said finally. "I should have stayed."

Hojo jerked only slightly, but nodded. Without another word, he laid back down, turned away from her. Kagome climbed right back out of bed and walked towards the kitchen, reaching for the phone sitting on the counter.

She didn't think Inuyasha would answer the phone, but she already had her message ready in her mind. She waited for the beep before she started: "You were right Inuyasha. I am still a child. I have no idea what I want, and I'm not sure what love is. I have no idea if this call is even the best move for me. But I do know one thing: when I see you, my heart speeds up. And it only does that when I see you. And that has to count for something. If you're willing to deal with this child, she's willing to become a woman. Don't call back, just come to get me. Please."

She placed the phone back on the receiver and turned back to her room. At this point, Kagome could only pray that he would hear the message, and that she hadn't totally blown it yet. When she had turned, she found Hojo standing in the doorway, the look on his face giving away that he had heard the whole thing. He had a suitcase in his hand.

"Hojo–"

"Kagome, don't." he sighed. "It's okay. Somehow, I think I always knew. The way you looked at him…you never looked at me that way. The way your cheeks flushed, your laugh. Everything about you changed when he was around. I guess I just didn't want to accept it. I just wanted you to love me."

"I do love you Hojo. I always will."

Hojo laughed. "Yeah, I guess."

Kagome felt tears welling in her eyes. "I'm so sorry about this."

"Don't be. Don't be Kagome. I want you to be happy. No matter what, I always wish you happiness. And if it's not here, I want you to find it elsewhere."

He handed her the suitcase, and managed a weak smile. "I figured this day would come, and prepared you for it."

Kagome laughed unexpectedly. "So you've been planning to throw me out huh."

"Well what with you not being able to cook and all–"

"Hojo!"

He laughed, and Kagome laughed too, but she soon saw what Hojo meant. She was laughing, but it was friendly. Nothing like what she felt when Inuyasha made her laugh, when her whole body warmed with joy. She took the suitcase slowly, then took another step closer to Hojo, wrapping her arms around him.

"Take care of yourself Kagome."

"You too Hojo."

He pulled back just enough to peck her lightly on the lips. Kagome waited for a flicker of something – anything – but there was nothing. There had always been….nothing.

She exited the apartment, took the elevator down to the lobby. She walked out into the night, still in her red dress, feet bare, and suitcase in her right hand. She waited, and wondered if she was waiting in vain. Maybe she was too late.

But then a familiar black car came towards the curb, parked just above where she was standing. And Inuyasha came out, wearing his white dress pants and the red shirt from the dinner, now wrinkled. He walked towards her slowly, and when he was close enough, Kagome saw that his eyes were red and puffy. Had he really been crying too?

He gave a nervous laugh after he looked at her long enough: "Guess there was a lot of waterworks tonight huh."

Kagome reached up and touched the side of his face with her left hand, and she watched as his eyes closed and he leaned into her touch, just as she did when he did the same to her. "I'm so sorry Inuyasha." She whispered.

His eyes opened slowly, and he smiled. "Don't be. Just tell me you'll spend the night. Just tell me, that you'll stay with me."

She returned the smile, and felt it growing as butterflies came to life within her. "Yes. I'll stay with you."

And then, when Inuyasha stepped forward to kiss her, Kagome felt all the things she knew she was supposed to feel: butterflies, warmth, safe, secure, happy, loved.

But most of all, she felt at home.

* * *

**So there it is: my first OneShot. I hope it wasnt too painful for anyone. And even if it was, I would totally appreciate a review (so I can know how to write a better one if I decide to do this again) Or maybe you cud just tell me to stick to regular stories, and that OneShots are not my thing. Either way, can you do me a favor and keep it constructive? i.e. no unnecessary flaming. I _will_ flag you: im not afraid to do so.**

**I do hope you enjoyed it tho: let me know.**

**Until next time**

**Brin.**


End file.
